Addiction alone is tough enough, and when you family faces a dual diagnosis challenge, it can be very tough to know what to do, how to act and how to help.

Our natural impulse when we see a loved one in pain is to offer our assistance, to try to ease the burden and shoulder the load. We act out of compassion and concern, and we are only trying to help, but more often than not, how we help actually hurts!

Manipulation

Addicts are master manipulators, and dual diagnosis addicts are no different. They manipulate those around them to preserve their addiction, they manipulate so that nothing gets in the way of that next drink or high; they manipulate us. It’s a hallmark of the disease and it says nothing about their basal character, it’s just what addicts and alcoholics do.

And dual diagnosis addicts get away with more. Family accepts behaviors from the dual diagnosis addict they would never accept from another family member, and more than just accept them, they often support these behaviors.

Family Can Make It Worse

If family provides financial support that makes the continuation of use and abuse possible, they do not help, they hurt.

If family cleans up messes left in the wake of addiction, they do not help, they hurt.

When family supports in this way, the addict never needs to take personal responsibility, never needs to face the reality of the problem, and will always continue to use or drink. Family that supports a dual diagnosis addict financially often supports a descent into ever greater use and dysfunction. The addict does not need get a job, or interact with support agencies, and can become very isolated – living a lifestyle conducive only to getting high.

Tough love is pretty tough, but it’s the only kind of love that has any chance of making the situation better.

You can still support a dual diagnosis addict, but you must ensure that your support helps to better the problem and does not insulate the addict from their responsibilities. You can provide money and other support, but you should always make this support entirely contingent on the fulfillment of pre-agreed upon responsibilities (attending treatment, getting a job etc.).

The dual diagnosis addict must take responsibility for their problems, and for their recovery. Psychiatric illness and addiction are very often intertwined, and it’s unfortunate, and it’s nobody’s fault, but it’s what you’ve got, and it has to be dealt with head on.

Dual diagnosis patients can and do get better, and family can exert a very positive influence, but family love needs to be tough, because easy love just does more harm than good.

Are you or someone you know considering residential treatment for a dual diagnosis case? Head over to our Main Site for more information on our Treatment Centers.

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